


My Eternal Love

by Ggeri_Sminth



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha Clint Barton, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF Clint Barton, Beta Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Deaf Clint Barton, Drunken Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forced Bonding, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Minor Character Death, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Canon Compliant, Omega Phil Coulson, Omega Tony Stark, Phil Needs a Hug, Protective Avengers, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Natasha Romanov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 06:38:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14743826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ggeri_Sminth/pseuds/Ggeri_Sminth
Summary: Phil and Clint’s relationship has always been an odd one. No one seems to know the extent of it, well that’s not true. Natasha does, Phil got drunk and told her. He loves Clint, so dearly, and yet it always seems like Clint might not feel the same. Are things really as they seem, or is there more to this story than what meets the eye? Love is never easy and sometimes it’s worth dying for.





	My Eternal Love

**Author's Note:**

> Happy May. This one is a little darker. But I like it a lot. I really wanted to write some kinky sex but I just couldn't figure out a way to put it in here... so maybe the next one.

Phil didn’t like to talk about his personal life, he was a very private person. His file at shield told very little about it; stated that he was an Omega and was bonded. There wasn’t anything else; there was no information about who his mate is or if they have any children. If asked about any of this information he freezes. He becomes very hard to read, where he would usually be a kind and gentle person he soon becomes sharp and harsh. Talking about his personal life makes him uncomfortable. The one thing that everyone knows is that Phil and Clint are friends, very good friends. They were friends long before Natasha got put into the picture and yet she uses to wonder if Clint knew about as much as everyone else.

Oddly enough it would seem that Phil trusted her enough to spill several of his secrets to her one drunken night. Their mission had gone off without an issue, well mostly without issue. There were some problems, one of those ending Clint up in the med bay. So, she and Phil decided that they would drink some of their worries away, seeing as how neither of them had to be at work tomorrow. That night she had learned more about Phil’s sex life than she ever wanted to know.

Phil and Clint had been together for around eight years, and they had been dating almost two years before they ended up getting bonded. That wasn’t the issue, Phil loved Clint more than he could describe, the issue was that Phil didn’t think that he belonged with Clint. He didn’t know what Clint saw in him. He wasn’t the best looking and he didn’t have the greatest personalities. But Clint seemed to love him and take care of him. Always looking out for him. Making sure that he was okay and protected no matter what.

That indelibly is how they ended up together, a mission went wrong before Natasha’s time with Shield. When Phil was more of a field agent than a handler. Well, that wasn’t completely accurate, the corrupt people were looking for Phil. He has some unique genes that they wanted. The plan was to use him as a breeder. The agents that had kidnapped Phil weren’t prepared for Clint. Clint is well known for being able to kill with his deadly aim may it be with a bow and arrow or a gun. He is also known for sneaking up on people and disappearing acts that he can pull.

What he isn't known for it being able to hold his own in a fight, a hand to hand combat fight. Phil had giggled as he retold the tale of Clint snapping the man who was ‘playing’ with him, neck. Then he got sober for a second, informing her that he was in the middle of a heat that they had forced upon him. This was the first time that Phil was truly scared that his secondary biology would cause him issues.

  _Clint took a shuddering breath before moving towards Phil. Phil’s bound to a chair his legs spread wide giving anyone that came in access to his body. Clint could already see the slick slipping down out of Phil’s cunt and onto the chair. The man looked wrecked, breathing heavy and twitching. The man that Clint had just disposed of a matter of seconds ago had had his fingers in Phil’s body._

_Clint brushed his fingers gently against Phil’s cheek trying to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. Clint had already looked through all the file at the plant and noted that this wouldn’t be their last try to get at Phil. They wanted him for what he carried, a jean that he could pass along to any of his children. Clint couldn’t let that happen, so he made a second split decision. Something that he was sure Phil would hate him from once this was all over, but it had to be done._

_Clint grasped Phil’s chin, “Hey baby. How are you feeling?”_

_Phil’s eyes were glossy and his mind fogy as he bit his lip and tried to close his legs, “Hot, don’t like this…”_

_Clint nodded his head, “I know love. Just take a deep breath, I’m going to take care of you okay?”_

_Phil shook his head, whether it was in a no or yes situation Clint wasn’t all that sure. But Phil did take a breath so that was something. Clint smiled and leaned down kissing Phil softly, “I swear you can kick my ass once this is done. And if you never want to see me again, I will understand completely.”_

_Phil didn’t say anything as Clint went about removing the stirrups that held Phil’s legs apart and easing him off the chair. In a weird dance, Clint ended up in the chair with Phil sitting in his lap. He had also maneuvered it so that Phil’s hands were no longer behind his back. Still tied but in the front of him instead of behind. Phil’s breathing was becoming hard and faster and Clint could feel the slick slipping out of Phil and onto his pants._

_Another soft kiss was pressed into Phil’s mouth before he was lifting Phil’s hips and pulling himself out of his pants. Clint said a soft prayer asking for forgiveness before slamming Phil’s hips down onto his cock. He watched as Phil’s cock jumped and he moaned as Clint’s cock filled the deepest part of him. Slicker slipped out of him as Clint bounced Phil on his lap. Clint moved Phil’s arms so that they were over his shoulders before moving his mouth along Phil’s neck to where he knew the claiming bond would be. Just as they both reach an orgasm Clint bites down, mixing his scent with Phil’s._

_Phil screams as it happens and after it’s over he drifts to sleep his head resting on Clint’s shoulder. They sit there tied together for a few minutes before Clint can get lost. Once he is, Clint is quick to clean them up and carry Phil away from the people that would use him as a breeding farm._

_When Phil wakes up Clint is long gone, a note sits on the dresser. It reads, ‘My love, I hope that one day you will forgive me. I know what I did was wrong, but I couldn’t see any other solution. This will keep you safe. I love you more than you shall ever know. Take care of yourself.’_

_Phil doesn’t know what to do for several days. He finds out that he is in a hotel room that was paid for in cash and still had several days before he would need to leave. He contacts Fury and a team comes to pick him up. The records in Shield are changed to bonded, but the name of who was his mate is left off. Phil was the only one that knows, and he wouldn’t tell Fury who it was. In that time Clint had also gone missing, no one knew where he was._

_Phil tries to be happy about that, Clint had raped him and bonded him without his consent. But something about it all didn’t sit right with him. Clint had always promised to take care of him and to wait for him to be ready before they bonded. He had wanted to bond with Clint. They had been talking about it for some time. But, it was a risk and he wasn’t sure if they could do that and still work together._

Natasha had held her breath in surprise at that information. She hadn’t thought that Clint would ever do something like that, and to a friend. Phil had frowned at her and waved his hand, it wasn’t what she thought. Clint had done the right thing, and it had taken Phil several months to see that.

Natasha obviously disagreed, it didn’t matter the reasoning Clint had taken him without his permission. Phil had bitten his lip and informed her that he had given Clint his permission. Several hours before he was kidnapped the first time Phil had told Clint to do whatever was necessary to keep the asset safe. He was the asset. Clint had done the only thing that would keep him safe. Without the alpha present, they couldn’t get him pregnant, and that meant that he was useless, unless they found the alpha. That meant finding Clint, the one person on the planet that was a master at disappearing.

In truth, it may not make some people feel better about what happened, but it made Phil, feel better. Clint was still taking care of him, even though he didn’t have to. Phil had then started crying asking Natasha not to be mad at Clint. He has given up so much for Phil. A life that he could have with someone that he loved. Phil was so sure that Clint didn’t love him, that the reason they were still together was that Clint was doing his duty.

“You’re one of his only friends Natasha, please don’t hate him.”

Natasha had, of course, nodded her head agreeing that she would give Clint another chance, but it would take time. Phil had sniffled and smiled. It had taken him some time too, it wasn’t that he didn’t trust Clint it was that he didn’t know how to deal with what they were now. It had taken him almost a year to get Clint to come out of hiding and come back to him and then several months before they appeared the way that they did now.

In the back to her head, Natasha still questioned if Clint would do anything, try something, but nothing ever happened, and she found herself falling back into the old friendship that they had. It wasn’t until Clint was taken over by Loki that she began to understand the relationship that Clint and Phil seemed to have. The man didn’t look broken, but she could see it, he couldn’t feel the bond anymore. A bond that had been in his life for eight years and he couldn’t feel it anymore.

He kept it together, but Natasha could see that it was killing him, not being able to feel the one person that completes you, or who you thought completed you for so long. She watched the slight twitches he would make and wonder if on the inside he was crying out for Clint if he was trying to break through the icy wall that Loki’s mind control had created. The truth of the fact that it felt all too good to hit Clint upside the back of his head, to free him from that control.

After all, she didn’t like what the broken link was doing to Phil, he just wasn’t himself. Funny how things never work out the way that you want them too. You get one back only to have the other one lost to you, and permanently. She didn’t even know if Clint felt the bond break; he didn’t act differently at all. Not that he had any time to think about it. To figure out what all was going on.

The news that Agent Coulson had died in the line of duty took everyone by surprise, but it affected Clint the most. He didn’t say anything, but she could see it. The way that he stood stiffly, the way he was ready to die as well. Phil wasn’t sure if Clint loved him, Natasha was sure that he did. He didn’t want to live in a world where Phil no longer graced the earth.

All of this had happened six months ago, as Clint had fallen off the radar a week after Loki’s capture. She wasn’t even sure if he was still alive. Natasha prayed that he didn’t do anything stupid and kill himself, but she couldn’t be certain because he was gone. He just up and left, leaving no way to trace or find him. She wishes that he had left a way to find him. Two and a half months ago Tony found information on a top-secret project. When raiding the facility, he and some of the other Avengers found Phil.

They found him alive and well, but in a comma. They ended up moving him to Avengers tower, but he has yet to awaken or even show signs of improvement. Natasha isn’t sure if she wants him to wake up. If he does she knows that he will be hurt knowing that his bond with Clint is no longer there. Would he ever remember what Loki did? There was so much that she couldn’t be certain of. What she was certain of was that they needed to find Clint and fast.

The sharp wail that filled the empty space startled Natasha out of her daily practice and had her running along with anyone in the tower to Phil’s room. She stumbled through the door behind Tony and Steve to see a pained-looking Phil clutching his head crying into the sheets that cover him. Soft mummers of ‘I can’t feel him, I can’t hear him.’ And so, on fill the room.

Natasha frowns, this didn’t make sense, Phil couldn’t feel Clint when Loki took over mind control, right?

She inched forward and perched on the edge of the bed, “Coulson, who can’t you feel.”

Tears streamed down his cheeks as hollow eyes looked at her, “Clint… why, did I do something wrong?”

Steve is the next to move, “Coulson, What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Getting stabbed.”

Natasha nods her head, that would make sense, “Could you feel Clint before you got stabbed?”

He nods his head and tears fall faster and harder, “Yes, he wasn’t clear to me, but I could always feel him. Did I do something wrong?”

Steve is quick to join Natasha, he braces a hand on Phil’s shoulder, “No you didn’t do anything wrong. Clint… we… everyone thought you were dead…”

Phil doesn’t say anything right away, he counts the head that has come into the room. Bruce and Thor have both joined them so now the only one that was missing would be Clint, “Where is Clint?”

Natasha takes a deep breath, she can’t say he is dead… she doesn’t know. And telling Phil that she doesn’t know where his mate is probably won't help either… She doesn’t know what she should do. Finally, Tony speaks up, “We think he is looking for you.”

Phil blinks, “But I am here…”

Thor nods his head, “Aye you are, but Hawkeye doesn’t know that. “

Tony nods in agreeance, “I believe that he could still feel the bits of your bond and went to find you. We were told you were dead. I found you, and we brought you here. Clint wasn’t with us when that happened.”

Natasha bit her lip, that was a happy lie. Clint was looking for him. She doubted that very much, but she prayed that it was the truth. That maybe Clint would return, and the bond would slowly start to come back. After all what else did they have to hope for?

After that, they all left Phil with his thoughts. Natasha couldn’t help it as she followed Tony, it seemed Steve was thinking the same thing, “How could you lie to him? Clint could be dead for all we know.”

Tony sighed, “Clint isn’t dead. And you know just as well as I do that Clint wouldn’t just run off unless there was a reason. My thoughts, he felt part of the bond and was chasing it.”

Steve hummed, “You think he will show back up now?”

Tony frowned, “I hope he does. Look…” Tony rubs the back of his head, “As an Omega myself it’s hard for me to sense my bond with Pepper. But Pepper can always feel it… It could be the same for Coulson. There is a good chance that Clint can feel it. Or will feel it.”

Natasha nods her head, “Phil doesn’t think that Clint loves him…” she looks down at her hands and Steve gasps.

Tony just shrugs, “I mean I could see that. Not that Clint doesn’t show affection, but I mean I’ve known them for a while and Coulson can be self-conscious not to mention the way they got together.”

Natasha narrows her eyes, “How do you know how they got together?”

Tony raises his hands in defense, “Coulson wrote a report and encrypted it. I may have found it.”

Steve bites his lip, “Does Clint love Coulson?”

The snapped yes that came from not only Tony but also Natasha put that question down quick. Now it was just a matter of waiting. They needed Clint to come back to find his way back to Coulson, one could only hope that they still did have a bond and that he could feel it.

Weeks pass and Clint still doesn’t show, it becomes apparent that Phil was getting worse. So much so that Steve has taken to lingering around the man himself. Phil doesn’t do much, he eats very little and sleeps most of the time. It doesn’t make anyone on the team feel better.

Surprisingly Steve is the first to comment, “Did they have sex before all this happened?”

Natasha bit her lip and frowned, “I don’t actually know.”

In fact, no one had an answer to that, they would have to go directly to the source. That would be easier said than done. Phil didn’t seem to want to talk about anything that had to do with Clint. After a while, he had made up his mind that Clint had abandoned him and that it was obvious that their relationship was over.

Then it happened hell induced fueled nightmare that left Phil screaming his lungs raw and clawing at the bed that he lies in. When they do finally wake him, he is drenched in sweat and shivering, and no amount of comfort can shake him from whatever he saw in his dreams, and these terrors continued not allowing him any rest.

That was until one night while Phil was screaming himself horse he is awoken by a soft press of lips to his head. His eyes flashed open and Phil flipped whoever was in his room with him. After his shaking reduced Phil stared down at Clint the man didn’t seem fazed at all.

“Phil,” he whispers softly.

Phil growled, “Get the Fuck out, you don’t get to come back here and just, ‘Phil’ me. You Fucking abandoned me I…” tears began to slip down his cheeks onto Clint, “I thought you didn’t want me anymore.”

Clint whimpered slightly, “I would never, not want you, Phil.”

Phil growls and shoves himself up, “Get out!”

Clint does as he is told but as he does he brushes his fingers through Phil’s hair allowing his scent to linger and calm Phil’s nightmares for the time being. Phil doesn’t say anything or do anything, but the comfort of his bond sits in the back of his head and he is glad in a way that Clint is back, that he might still be loved. Phil growls, no that was wrong, He doesn’t want Clint anymore. Once morning comes he will make that perfectly clear.

The others take it better seeing Clint again. Tony is happy, so very happy and so is Steve. They are all glad that he isn’t dead and that he didn’t kill himself. Natasha isn’t so sure though. He seems distant, even more so when Phil dictates that he doesn’t want to be bonded to Clint anymore. That he wants it to end, that nothing would make him happier. In fact, it seems to make him sad and closed off. Clint allows the bonding to be removed but it will take time and he will only do it after Phil is healed.

Phil agrees if only to make sure that the bond is dissolved quicker. And so, life moves on. They get the hang of having Clint back around but, yet Clint seems to distance himself from them all still. Like he knows something that they don’t and that he is making sure they don’t get to close. Distancing himself in case he just vanishes again one day.

Clint sits eyes distant, Natasha is glad that he is back, Phil is doing better. He is getting better. He is allowing Clint to touch him and hold him. The nightmares have begun to ease with his mate now so close by. It angers her that Clint doesn’t seem more interested in taking care of what he broke. That he stays at a distance from them all.

She can’t take it and she lashes out, “Do you even fucking care. Or even love him. Look at all the pain you have put him through.”

Clint looks over at her and in a soft voice replies, “Of course I care. I love him so dearly. Did Phil ever tell you how we became bonded?”

Natasha laughs a cruel laugh, “Of course I know. He told me, got drunk off his ass and confessed about how you raped him, and he still somehow loves you. I hated you so much, but I don’t know I started to love you again. “

Clint doesn’t even blink at the accusation, “He doesn’t know the whole story. Only parts of it. Sit let me tell you what really happened. Why I am bonded to Phil, and how I tried to break the bond for him but found I couldn’t.” Clint gestures to a chair, “really come sit, you are going to want to hear this little tale. Might enlighten you to what has been going on for so long.”

_They were on a mission like normal, doing what needs to be done so that Shield could save the world quietly. There was a string of Alpha’s going missing and usually, that wouldn’t be a case for Shield but some of these Alpha’s were showing back up dead and there was a weird chemical in their bloodstream. They had discovered the dealer of the drugs and Clint was to get his hands on some so that they could analyze it better._

_Of course, things never go as planned. Instead, Clint is captured and later so is Phil his handler and boyfriend at the time. They don’t do anything but there must have been a little bit of Phil’s scent still mixed into Clint for them to find the man and bring him along. They were kept separate most of the time, and it didn’t take long for Clint to figure out what they were planning._

_They had several Alpha’s housed in this location all of them are kept in small rooms and fed daily. Phil was the one of the few Omega’s that the men that kidnapped him had procured. The plan was simple, give the Omega and the Alpha a concoction that would bond them infinitely. Clint didn’t know that at the time._

Clint stops his story to sigh softly, this part of the story always hurt the most. Remembering what he did. Why he did it and knowing that he couldn’t have stopped it even if he wanted to. God, it hurt so much, he couldn’t even bring himself to face the one he loved for several months. He had spent a lot of time trying to undo some of the damage that had been done. Obviously, things don’t work out like that for him it would seem.

_The men that kidnapped them would force a heat onto the Omega and in this case Phil. They would leave him alone bound and unable to touch himself until all that was left was a brainless creature needing to be fucked. They would take the hormones that he or she produced and feed them to the Alpha’s making sure that they would go into a rut. A need to breed that Omega, to claim their Omega._

_Once they were sure that the Alpha was in a full-on rut they would release Nine of them into a room with an Omega. They had scrubbed the Alpha’s clean. Removed all their clothing and belongings, that even meant Clint’s hearing aids. Not that it stopped him from paying attention to what they were saying. Clint got very good at reading lips quickly._

Clint stopped at the audible gasp that left Natasha’s mouth, “They wanted to see what it would do to the Omega. I don’t know what it did to the others. Because I never let what they wanted to happen, happen to Phil. I was so very, very protective of him.”

_Clint could smell Phil he was in a full-on heat. He had been trying to get to him for hours or was it days now. He couldn’t quite tell. There were other Alpha’s in the room as well, Clint could tell, and it made him angry, no one was going to touch his Omega. He wouldn’t allow it._

_Clint was the furthest away from Phil but that didn’t stop him from making his way towards him. He, of course, was stopped by one of the other Alpha’s Clint snarled at it looking deadly. He wasn’t always made for hand to hand combat. His skill was to kill from afar, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t know how to._

_The first to get in his way died with a snapped neck, Clint snarled and moved forward. The other Alpha’s began to take interest in him. Knowing that he seemed to be competition. They all began to move towards him. It didn’t stop him._

_Clint dogged left and right, breaking noses and crushing skulls, by the time that he made it to the last Alpha, the one that had his fingers in Phil’s cunt he was covered in blood and seeing red. He snarled and snapped the neck of the man fingering his Omega. It only made Phil gush more._

_After all, it was a brutal instinct that was built into Omega’s to craze the strongest Alpha. One that could prove they could take care of them the best. The strongest most brutal of the bunch and Clint was that. He was the most vicious, killing any that got between him and Phil._

_The man had whimpered as Clint yanked the dead Alpha out of the way and away from his mate. He snarled, “Mine!”_

_Then in a brutal shove snapped the bindings that were holding Phil’s legs to the chair that he was strapped to. The scent of an Omega in need had made all the Alpha’s erect and ready, Clint was no different. All he had to do was snap his hips forward and sheath himself into the tight hot heat that was his mate’s cunt. The Sex was hot and fast only ending when Clint bit into Phil’s bonding gland, bonding them together. Phil had been in a head induced state for so long that all it took was one good coupling and he was released from the claws of said heat. After his knot had reseated Clint was clearer, his mind sharper their captors sedated them._

_Clint awoke in his cell, but he could feel his bond with Phil. He didn’t know if Phil could feel it as well, or what was going on with the man. He could remember everything that had gone on and all that he had done. When Clint yelled and screamed trying to break out of the room that they were holding him until he was finally informed of what had happened._

_“You have bonded to the Omega. Now it is to see what will happen if you die and another Alpha takes your place.”_

_Clint sneered at the man._

_“Don’t worry you will be allowed to fight for him. We keep him constantly sedated until it is time to induce him into another heat. Give it a couple of days maybe a week and you will be fucking your Omega again.” The man stopped, “That is if you can win him once more.”_

_Clint snarls again but doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t catch everything that the man says be he gets the gist of it. He won’t let anyone take his mate form him. He won’t let anyone hurt Phil. And so, it repeats frequently. Clint and Eight other Alpha’s are placed in a room with Phil his Omega and he must kill them all to get to him before one of them can try to fuck him. None of them can bond with him until he is dead but that doesn’t mean they don’t try to fuck him._

_Sometimes Clint fucks Phil into the table. Sometimes he frees him from his binds and fucks him while holding him. Sometimes Clint doesn’t fuck him at all because it’s too soon and if Phil is pregnant he can’t risk the child. Phil never gets pregnant, and Clint remembers every time he is with him. He remembers it all._

_Finally, Clint figures it out, he finds a plan to get them out and puts it into action. This time after he has killed all the other Alpha’s, Clint fuck’s Phil softly on his lap. He kisses him and tells him it’s going to be alright. Clint has begun to build an immunity to his mate’s scent and he doesn’t get compromised by it like all the other times. After spending twenty or more heats with the man back to back he realizes that his mind is clearer. He wonders if it will stay that way once they are out and Phil goes back to having regular heats._

_He hides a knife, he will need it to kill the doctors, and this time when they come to sedate him he slits their throats and carries Phil out of that God-awful place. He takes him to a hotel and leaves clues for Furry and the others to find him then disappears into the night. He stays close by to make sure that Phil is found but doesn’t come out to greet any of them._

Clint clears his throat as a lump gets stuck in it, “I found out that they wanted to make sure that there was no way for a bonded pair to ever be unbonded. Only in death shall they unbound.”

Natasha lets out a whimper and slams her body into him, “Oh God Clint why didn’t you tell me this. Why didn’t you tell Phil this?”

Clint bites his lips tears slipping down his cheeks, “Phil only remembers parts of what all happened to him, he was so out of it. I just couldn’t, I couldn’t do that to him. And then when I came back… I couldn’t tell him that I would have to die for him to be unbonded to me. I just couldn’t lay that on his consciousness. I loved him so much I would have done it too though. I would have killed myself to set him free. Almost did it a couple of times too.”

Natasha whimpers and pulls Clint closer, he saved her and to know that he would have done so much, given up so much makes her heart hurt. Clint rubs her back, “Nat I felt him die… I felt our bond break, the empty feeling. Then one week later. I felt it come to life again.”

Natasha pulled back, “What?”

Clint turned his head, “They made it so that if one of the parties were to ever come back then the bond would take back up like it never left. I didn’t know that at the time… Nat… I thought I was crazy. I could feel Phil. I could feel his pain. Oh God, I wanted to find him, so I left. But I thought I was crazy, there was no way that he was alive or that the bound would just come back…”

Natasha nodded her head, she understood now. She understood completely. Clint was just as broken, maybe more than Phil. He could remember all the pain. Everything that happened. And he felt his bond and he thought he might be crazy and yet he went to find Phil anyways.

“The bond is what brought you back here, you traced it back to him.”

Clint hummed, “Yep. I was chasing him all over the world. Whenever he is conscious I can feel it stronger. When he is sedated it is blurry.”

A soft audible whimper makes Natasha pull back, “Clint.”

Clint turns and sees Phil, hot tears streaming down his cheeks holding himself eyes pained. Clint is quick to get up walking fast to his mate. He pulls him into a warm embrace tucking Phil’s head under his chin.

“Oh Phil,” Clint whispers softly before slipping his arms down and lifting Phil into his arms, “My love.”

Phil clings to Clint as he is maneuvered, they end up on the floor Phil in Clint’s lap. Phil is still crying and clinging to him trying his best to get out all the words that won’t come to mind. He just wants, he doesn’t know what he wants.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Clint sighed softly, “Tell you that your own memory couldn’t be trusted that what you thought happened wasn’t real. Oh, my love, it was better than having you remember me killing countless others to get to you first. Raping you repeatedly to prove I was your Alpha. I was trying to spare you.”

Phil sniffles and grips Clint harder brushing his cheek against Clint’s shoulder. He took deep calming breaths finding himself growing content sitting here in his mate’s lap listening to the calming heartbeat. Everything was going to be okay, Clint would make sure of it. Phil knew this but for now, all he wanted was to listen to the steady beat and try to forget that weeks ago he had told his mate in not so many words that he wanted him dead.

From here on out things were going to have to change, Phil knew this to be true and so did Clint. They were going to have to look at life a little differently, but none of that would matter if they had each other. Natasha smiled softly as she watched her closest friends hold each other. It was amazing to see the love that shown in their eyes.

Things didn’t get better overnight no matter how much everyone wished that it would. There was still tension and Phil’s nightmares still haunted him. He still saw things in his dreams that he couldn’t get away from. Clint couldn’t always come to his rescue, no matter how hard he tired. The process was slow moving and at sometimes it felt like they were taking steps backward instead of forward. And yet they pushed forward if not for themselves but for the ones they loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Please Kudo and comment, especially if you want another chapter or like one year later thing. I would love to hear from you.
> 
> *Note if you like my work and want to Beta for me, you can contact me on Tumblr via http://ggerisminth.tumblr.com/  
> I am open to just chatting, but I am most desperately looking for one.


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